Questions & Answers
1.Who pays for the wedding?
2.Where do I start with my guest list?
3.Who do we invite if we're getting married abroad?
4.Who sends the invitations and when?
5.Should I set a dress code?
6. What time should the bride & groom get to the ceremony?
7.Do my bridesmaids enter before or after me?
8. What duties do the best man and ushers have?
9.Can my pet dog be part of my wedding?
10.Do we have to have favours?
11.Do we need a receiving line?
12.Should we offer a choice of food?
13.When are the speeches and in what order?
14.When should we register our gift list?
15.Can we ask for cash instead of presents?
More? read on:
And while liberated ladies may balk at the idea of being 'bought' ...
And while liberated ladies may balk at the idea of being 'bought' with a gemstone, few are able to turn down a diamond ring if it is offered. It used to be the duty of the would-be groom to buy the ring and offer it to his prospective fiancee at the time of proposing. If she accepted she would then wear the ring constantly until it was replaced on the third finger of her left hand by the wedding band itself. The presence of the ring on a girl's finger acted as an obvious sign that her 'affections were engaged' thus protecting her from the unwelcome advances of other men.
Today however it is the accepted thing that a couple will first decide that they want to be engaged, and then go out together to choose the ring. Quite often the couple's parents are told of the engagement before the ring is actually bought and in any case it is courtesy that both sets of parents should be the first 'outsiders' to be let into the happy secret.
In the Victorian era, prior to the proposal itself, the polite prospective son-in-law would have sounded out his intended's family's views and would have approached the girl only when given their permission. 'Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.' - Bobby Twain Today many young girls as well as boys leave home permanently in their teens and by the time such independent individuals get around to discussing marriage they are so convinced of the rightness of their decision that no amount of family pressure would part them. Yet taking the trouble to 'ask father' is still one of the best ways to get a son-in-law/ father-in-law relationship established on the right footing-and it is worth remembering that a marriage dogged by perpetual friction between the partners and their in-laws is much more likely to be a marriage at risk than one where they have become, literally, one big happy family. Few present-day dads expect to give their future sons-in-law intense grilling about financial prospects, but most are still flattered to be treated as head of the house, instead of a mere cipher whose only function in the wedding plans is to pick up the party check.
Moreover, any caring parent appreciates the assurance that the man who will in future be looking after their beloved girl-child has given some thought to the practicalities of their future life together and is sincere in his affections. Minors-that is to say persons of either sex under the age of 18-do of course need the legal permission of their parents or guardians to marry. Quite often the response of the girl's parents to news of an engagement is to want to place an advertisement in the local or national press announcing the betrothal of their daughter and possibly giving forward news of the date of the impending wedding. They may well also like to mount an informal party at which the good news will be given to relatives and close friends.
Sometimes the placing of the ring on the bride-to-be's finger for the first time will be postponed to coincide with this event or re-enacted in front of the company at an appropriate moment. There is however no necessity to have an engagement ring at all. If a ring is used to symbolize engagement then its design can take any form the couple choose.